Sharing with the Grandkids--Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Sixtysomething - Season 3 - Episode 4 - Take Me Out to the Ballgame

[00:00:00] Hello there, 60-somethings. How's your summer going? Well, I hope. I'm Grace, and I'm so glad you're here. A few weeks ago, our family did something we'd been talking about for quite a while, my husband and I, anyway. He, uh, he- Aaron, my husband, our daughter Juliet, Aaron's brother Elliot, and I took our three grandchildren, Juliet's kids, Bella, who's seven, Josh, who's five, and Jude, four, to their very first baseball game, which happened to be an Angels game, the Anaheim Angels.

Sorry, I'm not calling them the LA, uh, Angels. No, I'm sorry. Okay, this happened to be [00:01:00] Aaron's brainchild. I had my doubts from the start. He was planning our summer in June, our little getaways, and the first thing he came up with was he wanted to take these grandkids to the ballgame, an Angels game specifically, and stay for the fireworks after.

That was the big deal, the big a- attraction. Now, it happened to be the day after school got out, so it seemed like a perfect way to celebrate. But if you've ever taken little kids anywhere for an entire day or even a long stretch of time, you know there's always a little, maybe a lot, of uncertainty going in.

We had [00:02:00] the tickets to the game and planned to stay for those fireworks afterwards, a, a big deal in our minds, and then we were spending the night at a nearby hotel instead of making the two-plus hour drive home, for obvious reasons. It, it sounded like a wonderful day Maybe. It also sounded like a very long day for a seven-year-old, a five-year-old, and a four-year-old.

Could they make it through nine or more innings without any major meltdowns? Could they even stay awake past their bedtime for the fireworks with the, I don't know, 9:30, 10:00? So we did what parents and grandparents do. We packed many snacks, made sure everyone [00:03:00] had whatever they needed, crossed our fingers, and hoped for the best.

As it turned out, they were terrific. It was such a great time. Of course, there were treats involved. I don't think anyone should be surprised by that. There was popcorn. There was ice cream. Souvenirs, of course. A beautiful Angels jersey for Bella and two of the famed Angel rally monkeys for Josh and Jude.

Aaron has one too, and I'm gonna put a picture of that thing in, in the Facebook group. I want you to see it. There were plenty of chatting going on that had nothing to do with baseball, of course. Even with the many trips up to get treats and almost complete disinterest [00:04:00] by the kids in the game of baseball, those little ones stayed with us through the entire game, meaning they were attentive and, uh, interactive.

By the end of the evening, we all looked at each other, the adults, and thought, "Well, that was amazing." A great time and also a m- marvelous memory for every one of us, and you know how much I'm into that. As I've thought about it since then, I've realized, you know, that day wasn't really about baseball. It was about sharing something we love.

For Aaron- I don't know why this chokes me up a little bit. Angel Stadium is a part of his childhood. He grew up in Anaheim, not [00:05:00] that far from the stadium, and he and his brothers, he has two brothers, Elliot and Harry, they went to countless Angels games with and without their parents. They were devoted, passionate fans.

Their mom even worked at the concession stand there for a while. So every time he and his brothers walk into that stadium, they're just not walking into a sporting event They're walking into so many cherished memories. I myself have baseball in my blood. My dad was a talented player. He went to college on a baseball scholarship.

It was a football. Anyway, he was a star at both, and all the while, for his entire life, a fervent St. Louis Cardinals fan, as is every single person in my family [00:06:00] that I can think of. Best team in the world, that's why. When we were in elementary school and junior high, they gave us straight A tickets to Cardinal games if you got straight As, and we did, and we always...

Maybe because of those tickets, right? And we always took advantage of it. So Busch Stadium was near and dear to our hearts, just like Angel Stadium was for Aaron and his brothers. And now for me, too, I love the Angels. By osmosis, I guess, going to a lot of games over the years with Aaron, it helped. Those Siegel brothers, they even have a commemorative brick with their names on it in the big patio in front of the stadium.

Yeah, it goes deep with all of us. And we all have [00:07:00] places like that, don't we? Maybe it's a, a lake where your family spent every summer. My beloved sister-in-law, Lynn, she has that. Her family has a place in Michigan where they spent most summers, and now she and her siblings and their kids and families, they're carrying on that tradition.

Isn't that... I love that. It's wonderful. Or maybe there's a church where generations of your family have worshiped, or a favorite campground, a beach, even a neighborhood bakery that still smells exactly the way it did when you were a child. I have so many of those places. One is a grocery store in my hometown, Belleville, Illinois, that used to be called Shop 'Land.

I don't know if it's called that anymore. It's where we went for groceries, but also [00:08:00] where every Friday night when our dad was working, my mom and two brothers and I would go do the grocery shopping for the week. Mom would always get cream horns from the bakery, which she loved, and now, of course, I crave them, and they're hard to find.

They're delicious, obviously, but also I crave them because those amazing little pastries Always remind me of my mom. My brothers and I each got to pick out our own box of cookies just for us, no sharing required. Every Saturday morning, I'd lie in bed reading my Nancy Drew book and eating my cookies.

Chocolate mint for a long time, and then those chocolate peanut butter [00:09:00] bars. Oh my gosh, they were my favorite. And you know, I don't regret it for one minute, even if it might have set an unfortunate precedent for me, if you know what I mean Special places, even a grocery store, that evoke memories like that become part of who we are.

And at some point, if we're fortunate enough to become grandparents, we naturally wanna share those places with the next generation. Oh, let me take those kids to Shopland. Not because we're trying to recreate our own childhoods, and certainly not because we expect our grandchildren to love every single thing we love, but we're saying, "This place brought me joy that I've never forgotten, and I'd love to share it with you."[00:10:00]

There's something really precious about that. I've noticed that being a grandparent, it's different than being a parent. Now, I loved sharing the things that I was passionate about with my children, and, but when you're raising your own children, so much of your time is spent keeping everything on track.

You know? Keeping the, the train running. You're making lunches, and getting everybody to school, and helping with homework, and scheduling doctor's appointments, and doing laundry, and buying groceries, and trying to remember who's supposed to be where on any given afternoon, as well as most of us working a job.

I loved, I loved it. But it's, you know, it's busy. It's chaotic. And you're still living your own life, full throttle, at the same time managing these other people [00:11:00] who depend on you. You know? It's a lot. Grandparenting is, is quite different. There's more breathing room simply to enjoy each other, more time to say, "Let's go do something fun."

Maybe even opportunities to introduce your grandchildren to the people, places, and experiences that have shaped your own life. As we walked into the stadium that afternoon, I found myself watching the kids almost as much as I watched where I was going, and I had to be very careful with that because those narrow steps you have to take in there to get to your seat in the bleachers, those concrete things, they're no joke.

But I did notice the effect, the enormousness of the stadium [00:12:00] It had on, on these little kids. The crowd, the music, the jumbotron, that breathtaking green field. Children have a fabulous way of reminding us that the world is, is still for them full of firsts. We sometimes as adults, we forget that. But I rarely do.

My life revolves around things like that, you know, because of, uh, legacy mind. Well, we've, we've been to baseball games, we've stayed in hotels, we've ridden escalators and watched fireworks enough times that we hardly notice them anymore. But little kids, they notice everything, and somehow when we're with them, we begin noticing too.

Incredibly, [00:13:00] wondrously experiencing it all with new eyes again ourselves. Ugh, that's one of the unexpected and best gifts of being a grandparent. Those little kids, they return some wonder to our lives. Now, I have to confess that I don't know how much baseball Bella, Josh, and Jude actually watched. There were certainly very few moments when they were paying attention to the game, I gotta be honest.

Were there any at all? I, I don't know. They did cheer when everyone else cheered. They watched the players when they first run out, ran out onto the field. They were pretty fascinated by all the people around us, the music, the videos on the screen, the food of course, and [00:14:00] everything else that makes going to a ballpark such an experience There was a time when I likely would've been, I would've been thinking and tempted to say, "Come on, guys, watch the game.

That's why we're here." Well, now I think about it a little bit differently. You know, children, they don't experience the world the way we do, and they shouldn't. One thing that struck me that evening was that children, they don't always fall in love with what we love or respond in the way that we hope and expect to what we share with them.

That's not the first time I've realized that. But more often, they just love being with the people they love while those [00:15:00] people are enjoying something special. I think that's an important thing to remember. Sometimes we put so much pressure on ourselves. We hope our granddaughter will become a mini seamstress because we love sewing, and we hope our grandson will become a baseball fan because we grew up loving baseball.

We, we want them to develop the same interests that we had because they gave us joy Maybe. Maybe they will, maybe not. I don't think that's really the goal. I think our job is simply to open the door, to say, "Come with me. Let me show you something that's been a part of my life." That's all. Whether they walk through that door and stay there, that's up to them.

You know, this gets me thinking about my own grandparents. You probably [00:16:00] remember your grandparents too. Both my mom and dad's parents were so good to us. They, they all went out of their way to share things with us. Our maternal grandparents lived far away. They lived in Alabama, and we lived in Illinois.

So we only saw them once or twice a year, but their world revolved around us when we went to visit them. Every night, our dinner was planned with our favorite foods, and they owned a meat packing business and took us to work with them. Our grandma, Grandma Liz, loved to share our stuff with us. She took turns sleeping in our beds with us.

She played every game imaginable. She tried to ride bikes with me one time and fell down and broke her arm. Oh, but she was such a good sport. Our dad's parents lived [00:17:00] close, and we spent many nights at their house. They lived in a small house, a reconstructed army barracks that my grandpa made into a home.

He could do anything like that. He completely finished our three-room concrete basement all by himself. Linoleum, paneling, dropped ceiling, the most beautiful bar you have ever seen. Anyway, this little house of theirs had a stable next to it, if you can believe that, where they kept a horse, Possum. They even bought a pony for me when I was a baby, but my dad put the kibosh to that.

He, right away, he ... Terribly afraid a horse would kick me in the head. Uh, even though he rode horses his whole life. Grandma and Grandpa Taylor loved to take us to the zoo, and the petting zoo, and the circus, and the [00:18:00] cafeteria-style restaurant, and Steak 'n Shake. Grandma's favorite outing was to her store, her top shop.

"Let's go to Famous," she'd say Just thinking about that now it, it makes me wanna cry. Our grandparents wanted to share things they loved and the things we loved. And nothing, nothing means more than that. Both of my grandmothers were wonderful seamstresses. Grandma Liz made beautiful formal dresses for her daughters to wear to proms and dances in high school and college.

And Grandma Taylor, who had no daughters, only one son, my dad, made many dresses for me when I was little, [00:19:00] fancy stuff with the ruching and other special touches. She made an entire wardrobe for my Barbie dolls, including a sequined wedding gown that must have had a thousand or more sequins on it. It's still one of the most incredible things I've ever seen.

Neither of them ever sat me down and said, "Honey, someday you're gonna love sewing." Well, they didn't have to. I just watched and listened to them. I watched and heard about how they created beautiful things and so admired them for it. My mom, oh, my mom, my mom was an angel, but bless her heart, she could barely sew a stitch, a hand stitch.

So all these years later, here I am, planning to take up sewing again myself. You know, Baby needs some new dresses, folks. [00:20:00] Baby is me in this case. Grandma Liz, and especially Grandma Taylor, who taught me to sew, planted a seed without ever really knowing it I think we grandparents do that all the time, not by preaching and pushing or persuading, simply by living our lives.

Our grandchildren may not seem to care or pay attention to what excites us, but they, with their little steel trap curious minds that watch every move we make, even when they don't seem to, they see things like Poppy lighting up at the ball game and that he adores pickleball. They notice that Grammy loves reading or old movies and baking.

They observe that we love to go to [00:21:00] bookstores or fishing or listening to Broadway musicals in the car like I did with my kids every single day who all know the lyrics to every major Broadway show as well as all of Judy Garland and Frank Sinatra's greatest hits. Sometimes our sharing what we love makes the kids a little weird, I guess, but that's okay.

Those little observations become part of the picture of us they'll carry into their life experiences. And years later, perhaps those memories will spark an interest in them too. And not always, but it's worth sharing the things we love anyway because that's the best way to share your love for them. Show them who you are.

One thing I've learned, though, is that when grandchildren are [00:22:00] young, sometimes we have to be a little creative. If you're introducing a four-year-old to baseball, the baseball isn't going to be the whole story. There's got to be popcorn, maybe some candy, a souvenir like a rally monkey if possible. Maybe

Well, the funny mascot is the best. Uh, rally monkey anyone? And that's perfectly fine. They're having the experience as kids are meant to, by having fun. In fact, I think that's one of the biggest mistakes we adults make is deciding ahead of time what a successful day is supposed to look like, and I am so guilty of this.

So many preconceived notions in this head. We think things like, "If they don't watch the whole game, I'm gonna be so mad." Eh, I don't buy into that [00:23:00] anymore, thank goodness. Success in these situations and in general is much simpler than that. Success is everyone climbing into bed that night tired, happy, and feeling loved.

That's what happened after our big night at the Angels game, and I'd call that day a success every single time. We could just start with, "This is something that brought me happiness over the years, and I'd love for you to experience it with me." If they end up loving it, wonderful. If they don't, that's okay, too, 'cause they've still learned something important.

They've learned something about you. They may not really care right now, but there's a good chance the day will come when they will remember, and you will be a part of that memory. [00:24:00] Oh, that possibility is so precious to me. I've come to believe that fr- family traditions don't really begin with grand plans.

God knows I've tried my best to implement a few, and it just doesn't always work. Traditions often start with someone saying, "Hey, let's do this." And then you do it again the next year and maybe again, and before long, it's just something your family does. I wonder how many of our own family traditions started out that way.

Someone had an idea. Someone made the effort. Someone bought the tickets or packed the picnic or baked the cookies. The tradition didn't begin because someone made a formal announcement. It was more serendipitous. It began because somebody cared enough to create an opportunity, had a thought, [00:25:00] followed through And that's, that counts.

That counts, too. That's maybe more realistic. You know, sometimes we wait for kids to become old enough before we share the things we love. Like old enough to appreciate a museum, old enough to enjoy live theater, old enough to travel, old enough to enjoy a baseball game. Sometimes waiting makes sense, I know, but sometimes I think we underestimate these children.

They may not understand every detail of the experience, but they understand joy. They understand excitement. They understand that something matters because it matters to someone they love, and that's awesome. I don't know if Bella, Josh, and Jude will remember every [00:26:00] moment of that game or anything about the game itself.

Somehow, I doubt it. I don't even remember every moment, but I hope and I trust they'll remember walking into that beautiful stadium with Poppy and Grammy and Mommy and Uncle Elliot. And I hope they'll remember sharing popcorn and ice cream and laughing together and all the fun we had staying up late waiting for the fireworks.

And speaking of those fireworks, folks, oh, my goodness, they were mind-blowingly good. I wasn't expecting them to be quite that spectacular. The music started, the fireworks began exploding overhead, and every one of us kids and adults, we were completely captivated. And when I [00:27:00] looked over at the kids, the expressions on their faces were, it, it, were priceless, especially Jude, the four-year-old, eyes wide, mouth hanging open in shock.

I don't know. In wonder, let's call it that. Oh, watching them all experience that, it's just one of the greatest pleasures in life. I looked at Bella and Josh and Jude later that night, and for just a moment, I had one of those thoughts that probably visits every grandparent event- eventually. This won't last forever They won't always be seven, five, and four Oh, I have older grandchildren, and I know someday they'll be teenagers with busy schedules, then adults building lives of their own.[00:28:00]

And if there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's that time has a way of picking up speed. People tell you that when you're young. I'm-- They told me that, and you just smile and internally roll your eyes a bit, right? Well, you don't get it. You can't. It hasn't happened to you yet, but it will Oh, it will.

So my message to you as I conclude this episode is don't wait for the perfect moment to make memories with your loved ones if you are doing that. There will always be reasons to postpone things. The kids are too young. They're too naughty. Everybody's too busy. I'm just too tired. Next year will be better.

But next year comes so fast, doesn't it? [00:29:00] And yet it also has a way of never coming because there's always a reason not to do something, especially if it's challenging, like taking little kids to a ballgame. Making the effort is enough. You and I both know that even if the kids are crabby and complaining and don't even make it to the fireworks, there will be memories made that one day everyone will laugh about and cherish, and that is enough.

No matter what happened in the end, even if it went south, it will become, "Remember when Grammy and Poppy took us to the Angels game?"

I'll take that every day. That's all I want. Sometimes [00:30:00] I think we make memory-making much more complicated than it needs to be

A guy named Scott Flexman once told me, "You show people you care by showing up." That's what I try to do for my grandkids and my kids and everyone I care about, especially my husband

Whose crazy mind thought this whole thing up in the first place? Kudos to him for making this particular adventure happen, and to my daughter, who's always game for pretty much anything I'm sure most of you are way ahead of me here, but if not, reach out to someone in your family and [00:31:00] say, "Come with me.

I'd love to show you something." Aaron got to hand a little piece of his childhood to the next generation last, last month. I can't think of many gifts more meaningful than that. Maybe years from now, one of our little grandkids will hear a baseball crowd cheering or smell popcorn or see fireworks on a summer night And remember

Thanks so much for spending a little time with me today. Don't forget to join our 60-Something Facebook group, and if you get a chance, please leave us a review whenever you, wherever you get your podcasts. Next time, I will announce our first 60-Something Book Club selection. I know it's [00:32:00] about time. Until then, keep your sunny side up, friends

Bye for now