Sixtysomething_S2_Ep21 – Decluttering with Legacy in Mind

Sixtysomething_S2_Ep21 – Decluttering with Legacy in Mind

[00:00:00] Hi friends, and welcome back to another episode of Sixty something, the podcast for those of us navigating the big and small changes of life after 60. I'm Grace Taylor Segal, and today we're going to talk about something that's become very real for many of us. Our stuff and not just any stuff, the meaningful stuff, those boxes in the garage, the wedding dress, the birthday cards, the souvenirs, the family heirlooms, and we.

Don't want any of it to become clutter. This episode was inspired by a fascinating article I read in the New York Times about how hard it is for people our age to part with sentimental things and why [00:01:00] to our surprise and sadness, our kids and grandkids often don't wanna inherit these things. And I get it. It can be painful to realize that the treasures we've lovingly saved over decades might not mean to others what they mean to us today. I wanna gently challenge the idea that this is a problem and offer a hopeful reframe.

We're not just decluttering, we're curating a legacy, and I'm gonna tell you how to go about that, at least some ideas for doing that. But before we get started, I wanna tell you a humbling little story that may help you understand why it took me a while to get this episode recorded

Last week, [00:02:00] my husband and number one fan of this podcast came home from work and we were sitting together catching up with each other as we pretty much do every day. And he asked me, what is the podcast on this time? I said, decluttering. And he smiled and said, well, I guess you know about that.

Me. I dunno what you mean by that. Him. Well, I just mean, I expect that you think about that a lot, that it's often on your mind. I was stung. It's a little bit of a sensitive subject for me. I'm not like my grandma with dozens of paper bags lined up in the rooms of my house and her house. She had all of her [00:03:00] stuff in those paper bags.

That was her organization method. Nor am I a person who has papers or other junk lying on the floor of my house or lining the walls.

But I have a lot of piles of notebooks and well organized decorative boxes of my projects and recipes. Often they're on my kitchen table and everywhere, if I'm being honest in my office. If I put things completely out of sight, I am likely to forget about them and I, I think I'll move through my projects much faster than I actually do.

In this episode, I'm gonna talk mostly about managing memorabilia, but I don't wanna disappoint anyone, so I'll be [00:04:00] sharing. A special checklist that you can download, about general decluttering, i've included in the download some reference material. I've also included a guide to decluttering with your legacy in mind and some ideas for the best ways to do that. I'm gonna talk about that here in a minute. I hope these will be helpful. Okay, so let's start with a question.

Why do we hold on to so much? Well, first of all, I guess we're the memory keepers. We were raised in the time before cloud storage and Instagram.

If you wanted to remember a moment you saved the program from the concert or the baby's little outfit, the [00:05:00] ticket stub, the program from the theater, a dried flower, those things mattered. They still do. But if you're like me, you've realized something. You can't keep everything. And you also can't assume your kids will want all the things you have kept.

I've had this conversation with friends and we'll all say the same thing. I saved all these things so they could go to my kids and they don't want them sound familiar. When I lost my parents, I wanted everything. Over time, I've pared down, but I still have so many things of theirs that actually bring me joy and frequently.

For example, my mom had and gave me little knickknacks, [00:06:00] hummels, and, you know, little figurines and I still have most of those. I keep them on dressers and bookshelves. Well, I did for many years, but now I'm sort of into a cleaner look, so I've put them in a drawer in my dresser where I can open it. And look at them anytime. I still have a few displayed and I rotate them rather than set them all out.

I'm not sure what I will ultimately do with them. I suppose the most precious I will give to my grandkids. I. Not worry about what they will do with them. I think that's key. As much as I want my most precious possessions to be treasured, I have to accept that they may not be. That's just the way things are now, less is more these days, right.[00:07:00]

Let me offer some perspective. Our kids are growing up in a different world than we did. They're overwhelmed by digital noise and clutter and economic instability, and the pressure to live in smaller spaces. Many of them are minimalists by necessity, not by choice, and they don't want boxes of stuff to deal with.

They don't want it after we're gone and they're not being ungrateful necessarily when they say no to that China set or the baby book. They're just setting boundaries, I guess I am trying to keep that in mind. So what do we do? We have two choices. We can be hurt. Or we can get creative, and that's where this idea of creating [00:08:00] artifacts comes in.

I've just recently learned this concept, and you've heard me talk about legacy on this podcast many times before, and I believe deeply that we don't just leave things behind. We leave meaning so. Here's a simple, beautiful idea that I want to introduce to you today. Start thinking in artifacts, not heirlooms.

An artifact is a curated, purposeful, small collection of some sort of memorabilia, photos, videos, letters centered around one memory. One person. Or an event instead of saving everything from your child's [00:09:00] kindergarten year. How about a five minute video sharing your favorite memory, a copy of that hand print art, and a photo of them with their little backpack that.

Saved together is an artifact, and that artifact tells a story. You may wanna preserve your love story, how you met your husband or wife, what your wedding was like, what you learned over the decades of marriage. Just create a small album with a few favorite photos. Write a. One page letter or a note and record a short video of yourself telling the story.

Now, that is something your grandkids will actually want to keep. Here's the truth. We're not betraying our memories by letting go of things. [00:10:00] We are choosing which memories get to shine. Decluttering can feel emotional, even scary, sad, but when you reframe it as legacy building becomes sacred, doesn't it?

You're not getting rid of your past. You're curating it for the future, and trust me. Our families will thank us for doing this while we're alive. While we can still tell them the stories, because friends, the stories are what counts. I. So if you're standing in front of a closet or your garage or a box wondering where to begin, here are a few questions to ask yourself, does this item still bring me joy [00:11:00] or tell a story worth remembering?

Would I want this passed down to me if the roles were reversed? Can I capture the meaning of this item in some other way with a photo or a video? Could this become a part of a meaningful artifact? If I were gone tomorrow, would this help or burden my children? Those five questions will change the way you see your things.

Now let me give you a few ideas to get you started with creating artifacts, and you could do any of these in just a weekend afternoon, your wedding artifact, a few favorite photos, a copy of your vows, and a video of you telling the story of your wedding day, your first home. How about an artifact of that photos, the [00:12:00] story of how you bought it and what life was like then.

A grandparent artifact, a letter about what your mom or dad meant to you, a great photo of them, and any little keepsake or recipe, any memory we're saving. The career artifact, your business card, a favorite photo from your working years, and a five minute audio or video talking about what you learned and experienced in your career parenting artifact.

A short letter to each child or grandchild, one meaningful photo, a voice recording saying what you hope they remember about you. You could make a book of 10 artifacts or make one for each family member. You could copy them, save them to the cloud in your digital [00:13:00] family archives so everyone can have it if they want to.

Those are treasures Your family will hold onto and can pass down to their children and grandchildren, and they won't take up a storage unit. I wanna share something from my own life, and I've shared it before. After my dad died, I created a coffee table book from the photos I had of him.

It wasn't a giant photo album, it was just one beautiful book and my little granddaughters looked at it one day with their mom and she said. That it was like they knew him now.

That's when I realized this is how we live on, not through our stuff, but through our stories. And that's why this [00:14:00] matters so much. So here's what I want you to do this week. Choose just one memory you wanna preserve. Pick a small set of items, record a video, write a short letter. Make your first. Artifact.

I'm gonna be talking a lot more about this in the coming weeks because I'm so taken with this idea. And if you'd like help or inspiration, as I mentioned at the top of the edit episode, I created a guide and a checklist for you to use when you're working on decluttering with your legacy in mind. It's designed to help you decide what to keep and what to let go, and I've.

Included some resources for you that can help you preserve these memories in this way and be creative so that honestly people will value them more. The most important message I'm trying to [00:15:00] convey here is for you to allow. A paradigm shift in the way you see your precious possessions.

And instead of just handing down these things, reframe that into capturing your life stories in ways that you're actually able to share those stories with artifacts. And you could put them in envelopes or little albums. Describe these stories in meaningful videos. Just start building your legacy one piece, one artifact at a time.

Now, I'll put the links to the resources I've mentioned in my Facebook group. We'd love to have you join us there. We're building a supportive community. And I love to interact with listeners there. [00:16:00] If you do go to the group, please take a minute and share your thoughts regarding this subject. Are you decluttering?

Are you trying to figure out how to share your precious possessions with your loved ones now or in the future? Let us know if you have any suggestions. 'cause I really wanna hear them. And hey, if this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to share it with a friend, maybe someone who's also staring down those boxes in the attic and wondering how to get started. We're all in this together and together we can leave something truly beautiful for our loved ones to remember us by and introduce us to future generations. What a wonderful thought. Thanks for joining me today.

Next time on 60 something. I wanna talk about loneliness. It's a national [00:17:00] epidemic, you know, especially for us, 60 somethings and older. Let's crack this nut to find a solution together. This is Grace. I'm signing off for now and I'll see you next time.