Sixtysomething_S2_Bonus Episode_Make the Best of the Holidays…Even When It’s Lonely

Sixtysomething_S2_Bonus Ep_Make the Best of the Holidays…Even When It’s Lonely

[00:00:00] GTS:
Hi, everyone, and welcome to Sixtysomething. I’m Grace, and as always, I’m so glad you’re here for this bonus episode.

As the holiday season is now upon us, I’ve been thinking a lot about how this time of year can bring up all kinds of feelings—some joyful, some bittersweet, and for many of us, some very painful. Today, I want to talk to those of you who might be facing the holidays feeling disconnected, especially if you’re estranged from family members. Whether it’s parents, children, siblings, or other loved ones, estrangement can make this holiday season feel pretty darn lonely.

But you’re not alone. There are ways to get through this season with grace, peace, and maybe even some unexpected moments of joy—I promise you. I hope this episode will feel like a warm hug and give you some encouragement as we navigate this challenging topic together.

Let’s start with a quote that really resonates with today’s theme:
"Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs, the ones who accept you for who you are."

Let’s dive in.

[00:01:00]
The holidays are so often depicted as this magical time filled with family gatherings, big meals, and love. But for those of us who don’t have that picture-perfect family—or any family connection at all—it can feel like we’re left out in the cold.

I want to start by saying this: it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or even numb during the holidays. Estrangement brings up so many emotions—grief for what’s been lost, frustration at what doesn’t seem possible, and even, sometimes, guilt or regret for what could have been.

Society tells us that the holidays are all about family, but the truth is, families come in all shapes and sizes. And if your family situation isn’t traditional or it’s strained or broken, that doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of love, connection, and joy this season.

I encourage you to acknowledge those feelings. Let yourself grieve if you need to. Sometimes just naming the pain is the first step toward healing.

[00:02:00]
Now let’s talk about something I find totally empowering: redefining the holidays for yourself. If the traditional picture of the holidays doesn’t work for you, you can create something new—something that brings you comfort and joy.

Here are a few ideas:

* First, focus on the people who are in your life now. Maybe that’s a close friend, a neighbor, or even a coworker. Celebrate those connections. Host a Friendsgiving or a small holiday gathering with the people who support and accept you.

* Second, consider volunteering. Spending time helping others can remind us of the good in the world and give us a sense of purpose. Whether it’s serving meals at a shelter or helping out at a local charity, giving back can be incredibly fulfilling—and it can lead to new friendships.

* And third, try something completely new. Get out of Dodge! Take that trip you’ve always dreamed of. Go somewhere—anywhere—that feels fresh and exciting. Even a staycation can accomplish that. If you’re no longer tied to traditional family obligations, you have the freedom to create your own adventure.

Remember, the holidays don’t have to play like some Hallmark movie to be meaningful. Sometimes the most special traditions aren’t the ones we inherited but the ones we create for ourselves.

[00:03:00]
Let’s shift gears and talk about taking care of yourself during the holidays. Self-care is so important, especially when you’re dealing with emotional challenges.

* First, protect your headspace. Social media, for example, can be a tough place during the holidays, with everyone posting pictures of their family gatherings. If scrolling through your feed triggers emotions you’d rather not feel, give yourself permission to take a break.

* Second, create a comforting environment for yourself. Light a candle, play your favorite music, put on your snuggliest PJs, get out that comfy blanket, and watch a feel-good movie that makes you smile. Surround yourself with things you love that bring you peace.

* Third, practice gratitude. I know that can sound like a cliché—I’m like a broken record—but it really does help to focus on what we have rather than what we’re missing. Try writing down one thing you’re grateful for every day. It could be something as simple as a sunny morning or someone saying something kind.

I have that gratitude jar I told you about in a previous episode, and I use that to remind me. Being grateful has changed my life, and this week’s episode is about gratitude and its life-changing power. It’s truly magical what appreciation can do for you!

[00:04:00]
And finally, one last thing: let’s talk about forgiveness—not just for others but for yourself, too. Estrangement can bring up a lot of "what ifs" and "should haves." But I want you to know that you’re doing the best that you can.

Even if they’re misguided, the estranged people causing you heartache are likely struggling plenty themselves. Give yourself grace, and remember, these things take time.

[00:05:00]
Now let’s dig deep and talk about something that’s so important—the most important—but often overlooked: loving and accepting yourself unconditionally.

I’ll be honest. This was not easy for me, and it may not be easy for you either. I suspect it isn’t our natural tendency. Most of us weren’t really brought up that way, and life puts most of us in a box. It’s taken me my entire life to learn how to love myself unconditionally, flaws and all. But let me tell you—it’s one of the most freeing, empowering things you can ever do. It sets you free.

Here’s the truth: if we wait for others to validate us, to give us love and acceptance, we’ll always feel like something’s missing. True peace starts from within, and you, just as you are, are worthy of love—from yourself.

[00:06:00] GTS:
If self-love feels foreign or even impossible right now, just start small. Here are a few ways to begin:

* Meditation: Take five minutes a day to sit quietly, breathe deeply, and simply be with yourself. You might say something like, "I am enough. I am loved. I am whole." If you’ve never meditated before, there’s an app for that! Try one like Calm or Insight Timer. They have guided meditations specifically designed to help you build self-compassion.

* Books that inspire self-love: A few I highly recommend are The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown, You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay, and The High Five Habit by Mel Robbins. All three books offer truly powerful insights into accepting who you are, loving yourself, being kind to yourself, and letting go of self-doubt.

* Daily mantras: Write down a few affirmations and put them somewhere you’ll see them—on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, or even as the background on your phone. Phrases like, "I am worthy of love," "I am doing my best," or "I am enough just as I am" can be powerful reminders. Say them out loud to yourself every morning. Even if it feels weird at first, trust me, it gets easier, and those words start to sink in.

* Self-love journal: Take a few minutes each day to write down one thing you appreciate about yourself. It doesn’t have to be big—maybe you were kind to someone at the grocery store or handled a tough moment with grace. Over time, you’ll start to see the beauty in yourself more clearly.

[00:07:00] GTS:
Here’s something I want you to remember: loving yourself is a practice. It’s not something you achieve once and never think about again. It’s a daily choice to show yourself kindness, forgiveness, and acceptance, especially on the hard days—when you feel alone, disappointed, or rejected.

And it’s okay to ask for help if you need it—whether that’s from a therapist, a friend, or even someone in our Sixtysomething Facebook group. Above all, I want you to know this: you are worthy of love simply because you exist. You don’t have to earn it. It’s already yours.

The more you practice loving yourself, the more you’ll find peace—even in challenging times.

[00:08:00] GTS:
Before we wrap up, I want to leave you with this: the holidays are about love, in whatever form it comes. And love doesn’t always mean family. Sometimes it’s the kindness of a friend, the wag of your doggie’s tail, or the beauty of a quiet winter morning while you sip a warm cup of coffee.

You are not defined by your family relationships. We are defined by who we are—the people and things we love, the love we give, and the joy we experience.

This season, I encourage you to find one small way to connect—with yourself, with others, or with something that brings you peace. You are not alone. And this I know for sure: you are so worthy of love and happiness.

[00:09:00] GTS:
Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. I know the holidays can be hard, but I hope you found some comfort and encouragement in this episode.

If you’re feeling isolated, I encourage you to reach out—to a friend, a support group, a neighbor, or even me! Send me an email at grace@gracetaylorsegal.com or join our Facebook group and let us support you.

I’ll be thinking of you this holiday season. Take care, and remember—you are loved. And if nobody has told you that today, let me be the first: I love you.

Until next time, I’m Grace, and this is Sixtysomething.

[00:10:00]