Sixtysomething Podcast - S2 - Episode 2 - Pets

60s_S2 - Ep2 - Pets

[00:00:00] "Happiness is a warm puppy." That's a famous quote from Charles Schulz, creator of the "Peanuts" comic strip and all those wonderful characters, including Charlie Brown and that unforgettable, headstrong canine named Snoopy. I don't know why that quote touches me as it does; I guess it's because it's so true.

[00:00:25] If you've ever held a puppy or kitten, there really is nothing in this world like that feeling. Have you ever noticed all those videos online that show people surprising loved ones with a new puppy or kitten? And every single time, the recipient—even little small children—bursts into tears of joy. Gets me every time. This quote perfectly captures the essence of today's episode of "60 Something." Hello, everyone. It's Grace. Welcome to the second episode of Season Two of "60 Something," where we explore the many, many facets of life in our sixties. Today, we're talking about a happy subject: pets—those furry, feathered, or even scaly companions that bring so much love and joy into our lives, especially when we find ourselves at loose ends as empty nesters and likely more isolated than we used to be. I have a very special place in my heart for this topic.

[00:01:34] As many of you are aware, my golden retriever Dorothy is truly the light of my life—of both our lives, me and my husband Aaron. She's been with us through thick and thin over the past five years, and I can't imagine my life without her now. Every once in a while, an extraordinary friend comes into your life. That's how I feel about my Dorothy. Let's talk about how pets like Dorothy can enrich our lives, especially through our sixties.

[00:02:07] I find the history of our relationship with domesticated animals fascinating.

[00:02:11] Dog domestication happened at least 15,000 years ago in Europe or Asia—or both. Dogs were the first animals to have been domesticated. We're not exactly sure when and where this happened. We know dogs existed at the time of the first human settlements in the Eastern Mediterranean because remains have been found buried alongside humans dating to 11,000 years ago. Cats did not appear until 8,000 years ago and probably didn't evolve into their modern form until about 4,000 years later. At the time the last Ice Age was ending, the climate was colder, and this probably brought wolves into more frequent contact with humans as the ice sheets retreated. Likely, that's how this love story began—with the more social wolves hanging around human settlements to scavenge for leftovers. Eventually, these wolf-dogs benefited from our leftover food, and they in turn provided security by guarding us. And friendships were born. Scientists have discovered what might be the root of dogs' affinity and affection for humans in the DNA of dogs: a marker of evolutionary pressure on chromosome six, which in humans can lead to indiscriminate friendliness or hypersociability for unknown reasons.

[00:03:51] This tendency is stronger in some dogs, like Labrador retrievers, than in others. We know more about dogs and their capabilities now because, although through most of the 20th century researchers were mostly focused on primates and other species and had stopped paying much attention to the question of what dogs knew and how they knew it, in the '90s scientists began to turn their attention again to this species that is so present and important in our lives—dogs.

[00:04:26] They found that dogs don't seem to stand out from other animals in many categories. Hyenas, for example, seem to follow the cues of others in their pack better. Dolphins perform better in tests of self-awareness. Raccoons are better at physical puzzles. However, no animal could perform as well as dogs in all categories. A quality in dogs that almost no other animal—even chimps with their higher intelligence—can emulate is understanding human pointing gestures. Socialized wolves can follow human pointing gestures, but wolves in the wild cannot. Even shelter dogs who have had little contact with people can follow pointing. Only a few other species like coyotes and hand-reared bats have this ability. Studies have shown that dogs have advanced memory skills.

[00:05:26] They can read human body language and understand voice commands. They know many words, and the brightest dogs can learn hundreds. Their general cognitive order is similar to the hierarchical organization of our human intelligence. Most dogs' mental abilities are close to a human child of age two to two and a half years.

[00:05:50] Dogs are curious, and that curiosity is triggered by uncertainty that occurs in their brain. The smartest dogs, based on numerous studies testing their intelligence, are:

Number one: Border Collie.

Number two: German Shepherd.

Number three: Poodle.

Number four: Australian Shepherd.

Number five: Golden Retriever.

[00:06:23] As a matter of fact, the smartest dog ever known is a Border Collie named Chaser. She was trained by her owner, Dr. John Pilley, to understand more than a thousand nouns as well as basic sentence structure. Dr. Pilley taught Chaser for up to five hours a day. Both are now deceased, but Dr. Pilley wrote a book about Chaser, and I'll put a link to that in the show notes. Quite a dog. The most unique trait in dogs is their desire to bond with us. Scientists believe every pup is born with this unique drive to bond with us. As a dog gazes into a human being's eyes, little bursts of oxytocin likely erupt in his or her brain as well as in ours, just like when we hold our babies. This hormone promotes bonding, which might be why canines are so good as therapy dogs and emotional support animals, as well as loving family members. The essence of canine identity has to do with emotional connection—love, to use a rare word in science. The swirl of friend-making ecstasy as human and dog gaze at each other has inspired an origin theory for the relationship between dogs and humans that focuses on feelings rather than cognition—their hearts, not their smarts.

[00:07:58] In the words of Clive Wynne, Ph.D., behavioral scientist at Arizona State University, he proposes that the essence of dog identity has to do with emotional connection. Gregory Berns, a neuroscientist at Emory University, trained his dog, Callie, to go into an MRI machine so he could study her brain. He wanted to know what she was thinking. He and his team were the first to scan the brains of awake dogs in MRI scanners. Their research has shown, among other things, that dogs prefer praise from humans to food. If that's not love, I don't know what is. How does this bond form? Humans, like most primates, are born ready to bond with their parents and other members of their social group, and faces carry a wealth of social information. Primates have an area of their visual system dedicated to processing faces. Neuroscientists discovered that dogs, like us, have this visual system that is strongly and specifically activated by faces. Their sense of smell is pronounced and plays a part as well. In an early MRI study, dogs in the scanner were presented with five scents: an unfamiliar person, their owner, another dog from the house, an unfamiliar dog, and their own scent. The scent of the owner elicited the greatest activation in the reward system of the dog's brain. I've talked quite a lot about dogs because I have a dog right now, and I know more about dogs, but I can't ignore the cat lovers out there. I'm myself one. Temple Grandin, the well-known animal behaviorist, explains that a big difference between cats and dogs is that cats are not hyper-social like dogs. You can't use social approval to train a cat, and cats don't train themselves by picking up on their owners' reactions the way dogs often do. Grandin states, "Dogs drool; cats rule." No, wait.

[00:10:22] She didn't say that. That's a joke. What she really said is, "Dogs serve people, but people serve cats." Okay, that's a lot alike but better. One of the most important things she points out to realize about cats is that they haven't really been domesticated, at least not to the degree that dogs have. Wolves started the process of evolving into dogs over 100,000 years ago.

[00:10:55] But no one knows for sure when wild cats started to evolve into domestic cats. The most popular theory of how cats became domesticated animals is that they joined human settlements to prey on rats and mice, basically making themselves into pets. But some researchers think that earlier hunter-gatherers may have had cats too. Either way, cats and people go back quite a long way. But even if they lived together for thousands and thousands of years, cats probably haven't changed that much by their association with people because cats and humans had a mutualistic relationship during domestication. Early humans needed their dogs to guard their camps and help them hunt. Dogs needed humans for food and shelter. With people and cats, though, it was more of a relationship of convenience. Cats killed mice and rats, and humans provided a lot of rodents to kill. The result is that today, a house cat is a lot closer to a wild cat than a dog is to a wolf. Temple Grandin states that the only way to train a wild animal is to use positive reinforcement. Similar with cats, what it all comes down to is that the cat in your house isn't all that different from a cat on the Serengeti Plains. Nicholas Dodman, a veterinary researcher, says, your cat is in some ways like a miniature tiger in your living room. Here's something interesting: studies have shown black cats are friendlier than other cats and better able to deal with urban life.

[00:12:36] They're more inclined to live in a group of cats and are just more social overall. I'd like to tell you a story about a cat—not a black cat—but a very special cat who was in my life for many years, although he only lived with me for four of them. His name was Winston. Winston was adopted by my daughter when she was living in San Francisco in her twenties.

[00:13:01] He was a white kitten with large gray markings—not exactly a people person. She adored him though and called him her son. However, after about a year, she had to move closer to work and couldn't find a place that allowed pets. So Winston came to live with me and Aaron. He moved to the desert. At the time, we had our two Labs, Sonny and Charlie. Although they never became what I call friends, the three of them lived together in harmony. I became very close with Winston. It took about a year, but he would eventually come and sit on my lap. And every night before I went to bed, Winston and I would play chase. Not so great for my sleep, but I couldn't resist him when he wanted to play. God, he was fun. My son Brad was also very fond of Winston, and the feeling was mutual. After the four years, Aaron and I were considering moving, and we weren't sure we could take Winston. And Brad, who's a bachelor, volunteered to let his feline brother move into his L.A. apartment with him. Talk about bros. These two became so crazy about each other.

[00:14:17] And for the first time in many years, Brad, who had a bad breakup or two and had been down and pretty lonely for quite a while—almost bitter—seemed to change his perspective completely. He'd come home from work, and Winston would be there waiting for him. Soon he started to say how content he was with his life and how happy he'd become. I knew it was because he now had someone to love who loved him every day—a cat, Mr. Winston Siegel Sanford. Winston even moved to New Orleans with Brad a few years ago. But sadly, he died after a recurring illness. Brad was inconsolable. So was I. Losing a pet is one of the hardest things we have to endure in this life. But it's worth it for all of the good years we have together—all of that love. Saying goodbye to our Labs when they passed after 11, 12 years wasn't easy either. I still struggle with that. Someone once said, "Having a dog will bless you with many of the happiest days of your life—and one of the worst." But I'm a person who believes we will meet our loved ones again, including and especially our pets. The way I look at it is if my pets aren't there, it's not really heaven, is it?

[00:15:54] Even with the heartbreak of parting, there are a plethora of benefits of pet companionship, especially for us 60-somethings. For one thing, there's all the emotional support that pets provide. It's incredibly comforting to have a pet by your side, whether it's a dog, cat, even a bird. Pets offer a form of companionship that's constant and unwavering. For many of us in our sixties, especially those of us who are empty nesters, pets can fill the void left by our children who have grown up and moved away. The house may be quieter, but it's far from lonely when you have a pet.

[00:16:33] Then there are the physical health benefits. If you have a dog, you know that they need their walks, and that means you're getting out and moving too. Regular walks, even if they're short, can significantly improve cardiovascular health, reduce stress, and increase overall physical well-being. I've known people who walk their cats too—carefully, very carefully. Pets also encourage social interaction. Have you ever made a new acquaintance walking your dog, or maybe you've bonded with someone over a shared love of cats? Pets can be wonderful icebreakers and can help us expand our social circles, even at a time in life when it might feel harder to make new connections. And let's not forget the mental health boost that comes with owning a pet. The routine, the sense of responsibility, and the unconditional love they offer can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety and give us a greater sense of purpose. My dog Dorothy got me through a terrible couple of years in my life. Just as I was adjusting to life without my mother who died and without my daughter from whom I was estranged, there were so many days I would have laid in bed all day, trying to escape from my broken heart into sleep. But this wild-at-heart little puppy wouldn't let me. Nobody needed me anymore except her. She needed me. So I got up, and I took care of her. And because of her, I laughed and I loved every day.

[00:18:22] God bless her.

[00:18:24] She and Aaron got me through some really dark days.

[00:18:30] A lady named Judy Desmond said, "A dog is the only thing that can mend the crack in your broken heart."

[00:18:38] Truer words, friends.

[00:18:43] Now let's delve a bit deeper into the incredible cognitive abilities of our pets and how they form such strong attachments to us. Recent research has shown that dogs, for example, have a remarkable ability to understand human emotions. They're experts at reading our facial expressions, body language, and even our tone of voice. This is part of what makes them such empathetic companions. In fact, dogs form attachments to us that are similar to the bonds human infants form with their caregivers. This is known as the secure base effect, where dogs see us as their anchor in the world—a safe place from which to explore.

[00:19:29] This deep bond means that dogs can sense when we're happy, sad, or even feeling a little under the weather, and they often respond with comforting behavior. Cats too have their own unique ways of bonding with us. They may not be as outwardly expressive as dogs, but recent studies indicate that cats can form very strong attachments to their owners.

[00:19:51] They often show their affection through more subtle gestures: purring, head-butting, or simply following us around the house.

[00:20:00] Both dogs and cats provide comfort and companionship in ways that are deeply rooted in their cognitive abilities and their strong emotional bonds with us. It's no wonder they become such integral parts of our lives.

[00:20:14] Now I'd like to share a few wonderful stories that highlight the special bond between pets and people. You may have heard of Hachiko, an Akita dog born in 1923. He became a symbol of loyalty in Japan after his owner passed away unexpectedly.

[00:20:34] For 10 years after that, Hachi waited at the train station where he'd met his owner every day on his return from work.

[00:20:45] His devotion moved many, and a bronze statue of him now stands at the station in Hachi's honor.

[00:20:52] This story was made into a wonderful film with Richard Gere called "Hachi."

[00:20:58] In 2014, a boy named Jeremy was attacked by a neighbor's dog while playing outside in Bakersfield, California. His family's cat, Tara, heroically chased the dog away—an incident that was caught on a security camera and quickly became a viral video. I've seen it. Tara's bravery earned her the Los Angeles County SPCA's Hero Dog Award, challenging the typical image of cats as aloof—not Tara. And the link to that video is in the show notes. The Brazier family's dog,

[00:21:39] Bobbie, was lost during a road trip in Indiana, and after an exhaustive search, they returned home to Oregon without him. Six months later, Bobbie miraculously reappeared, having walked over 2,500 miles to reunite with his family. His incredible journey captured national attention, earning him the name "Bobbie the Wonder Dog." Mind-boggling.

[00:22:11] And in 1996, a stray cat named Scarlett repeatedly entered a burning garage in Brooklyn to rescue her five kittens, one at a time, suffering severe burns. After saving the kittens, Scarlett collapsed from her injuries, but all survived and were adopted. Scarlett's story is a symbol of a mother's courage and devotion. And there are so many heroic animals who serve in the military, on police forces, as service dogs for the disabled. It's impossible to calculate the magnitude of their contributions.

[00:22:50] Of course, I can't talk about the bond between 60-somethings and their pets without mentioning the precious pets I've had in my life.

[00:23:00] Lady, our family dog when I was growing up, was a beautiful black German Shepherd with brown markings over her eyes and on her chest, brown paws—just a beautiful dog. She was so gentle too, so loving, always a friend when you were lonely. She made you feel like she loved you best, even though we had five people in our family—seven when my grandparents lived with us.

[00:23:27] She loved us all. I will never forget her. She shaped my attitude toward animals, I think. Aaron and I had a couple of Labs, as I mentioned, one blonde and one black, when Juliet was a teenager, and as the grandkids started to be born to my older children. Are there better animals than Labs to have around small kids? I can't imagine that there are, and I will always be grateful to Sonny and Charlie for being so wonderful to my little grandchildren.

[00:23:58] I have so many happy memories of those little kids with my dogs.

[00:24:04] Losing those dogs is one of the hardest things I've ever endured. The grief, the sense of loss in losing a pet you've lived with for 12 years—I wasn't prepared for it. It was overwhelming. Just thinking about it for this episode had me in tears. I'll always miss my Sonny and Charlie. And then came Dorothy. Dear darling Dorothy. Dorothy is truly our little girl. Every day, she brings joy and warmth into our lives. Do you know that every single time I walk by this dog, even after five-plus years,

[00:24:54] she wags her tail.

[00:24:57] That tells you just about everything I'd want to convey to you about her. She is happiness and goodness and love personified. Wait—

[00:25:11] yes, personified. And as I said, she's a blessing from God. She is an integral part of our daily lives, from morning walks to quiet evenings on the couch, just the three of us, and everything in between. She's not a pet; she's a cherished member of our family. I know many of you understand; you feel the same way about your pets.

[00:25:35] If you're considering welcoming a pet into your life, just a few things to keep in mind. First, it's important to choose the right pet for your lifestyle. Consider your energy levels, your living situation, and how much time you'll be able to commit to caring for a pet. For some, an active dog might be the perfect companion, while for others,

[00:26:01] a calm older cat might be a better fit. I have to tell you that when we got Dorothy and took her to the vet for her first checkup, the doctor said to us, "Aren't you two a little old to manage raising a puppy?" And he was old himself. We laughed it off rather than be offended because it was so ridiculous to us. I was 60 at the time,

[00:26:26] and Aaron was 53. I have to I have to admit, however, when we were in the thick of what we call her "velociraptor stage"—six months or so—we remembered that conversation and understood what he meant. Have you ever seen that meme online? It's three images side by side. First is a darling, furry little golden retriever puppy, and then that turns into an actual velociraptor looking very ferocious in the middle.

[00:26:57] And then that turns into a grown golden—just a gorgeous, nice-looking dog. That's funny. That's funny because it's real. That's exactly what it was like. But we loved every moment of our lives with this incredible, incredible girl. The other thing I want to mention about her is that she's big. And even when she was a puppy, I noticed my back was starting to hurt, and it was from lifting her. Since before she was even ten months old, I have to use this thing called a Gentle Leader—I call it a nose leash.

[00:27:38] It helps to control the pulling, just so I can walk her. She's so powerful; I can't control her on the rare occasion she wants to go her way. She's mostly trained. Mostly. My point here is: be realistic about what you can and can't do, physically and mentally. Think it through if you're going to get a pet.

Finally, remember to plan for your pet's care. Regular vet visits, a healthy diet, and exercise are all key to ensuring your pet's well-being, and it ain't cheap, folks. Look into resources like pet insurance or local pet care services to help you manage all of the responsibilities you'll be taking on.

[00:28:26] If any of these seem like insurmountable obstacles, there are other types of pets that are less demanding than dogs: cats, obviously, birds, reptiles, even fish. Caring for another creature is the important thing.

As we wrap up today's episode, I hope you've gained a deeper understanding of the magnificence of these remarkable animals in our lives and the incredible bond between us and our pets. The joy and companionship that pets bring into our lives is priceless. If you haven't already, I encourage you to consider welcoming some sort of pet into your life. They bring so much love, laughter, and comfort, especially during this chapter of our lives when we may need it the most.

One last quote from C.J. Frick: "Be the person your dog thinks you are." I try to live up to that every day. Dorothy Siegel deserves it. Thank you for joining me today on 60-Something. I'd love to hear your pet stories.

[00:29:38] So please share them in our 60-Something Facebook group; the link to get you there is in the show notes. Please rate and review this podcast if you like it. And don't forget to tune in to our next episode; we'll be exploring resilience. Until then, give your pets an extra cuddle for me, and remember to cherish every moment with them. They truly are our BFFs. Until next time.