Sixtysomething Podcast - Episode 6 - Combating Ageism

[00:00:00] GTS: My beautiful, brilliant, 60 somethings. Welcome back to the show. Today, we're going to talk about something that kind of sets my hair on fire. Yes, it's a tough subject that drives me nuts. Ageism.

I've encountered age-ism in both my personal and professional lives for a while now. And my complete frustration with it is one of the reasons I started this podcast. I wanted to rant about it. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to try not to do that. But it's definitely something we need to talk about in this podcast.

First, I'll review the exact definition of age-ism. And then what we face in actuality in our day to day lives. At work, in our personal lives, right down to, from our [00:01:00] beloved family members! Say, what?!?!

It ain't easy, but…

[00:01:06] GTS: If we look at it closely and attempt to understand it, perhaps we can find ways to combat it and maybe even overcome it. As much as possible.

[00:01:19] GTS: Okay. The actual definition of age-ism: “Prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's age.”

It is a significant global issue that affects people of all ages, but particularly older adults leading to various negative outcomes, according to the World Health Organization. Ageism can lead to earlier deaths, poor physical and mental health, increased risky health behaviors. And social isolation. It is estimated that one in two people globally

[00:01:58] GTS: hold ageist [00:02:00] attitudes. That's 50%.

Last year, in an attempt to encourage myself through the ageism I have encountered, I put down on paper the pros and cons of being an older person. Here's what I wrote.

Negative: Body aches and stiffness, more tired, harder to focus, vision issues, sleep problems, depression at times.

[00:02:27] GTS: Fear at times, lonely, isolated, discriminated against. Less adventurous, sad due to loss. But here's the positive; Wiser. Calmer. More certain. Less depressed, more joyful and grateful. Less fear. Happier overall more. Self-love. More patient. Philosophical. Faithful. Lighthearted. More [00:03:00] easygoing. More focused on interests, even if it's harder to focus on them. Peaceful, contented, resourceful. And becoming more open. Huh. That doesn't sound so bad.

[00:03:16] GTS: At least the pluses outweigh the minuses on that list. But in real life, what does ageism look like? Well, in employment, older people often face stereotypes that we’re less competent or less adaptable than younger employees. This can lead to difficulties in obtaining new employment promotions. Or meaningful assignments.

[00:03:44] GTS: It also may cause premature pushing toward retirement. All right. Career killer. This is what ended my career. I was never able to even get interviews after age 55. [00:04:00] I believe the algorithm and the bots just cut me every time. Before I could even make a long list, let alone a short list.

[00:04:11] GTS: Next is healthcare. Older adults sometimes receive inadequate health care because of assumptions. About their health status or life worth. Think about the pandemic.

[00:04:24] GTS: Healthcare providers may dismiss symptoms as inevitable consequences of aging. Rather than treatable conditions. Leading to undertreatment or misdiagnosis. I have a personal interjection here also. My doctor of seven years…He turned against me. When my health took a turn for the worse. I had to change doctors and report him to the medical board. Excrutiatingly painful. Media representation, 60 somethings are [00:05:00] underrepresented in the media.

[00:05:01] GTS: And when they are included, they are often depicted in stereotypical ways that emphasize frailty or confusion or dependence rather than the true diversity of the senior experience. But it is quite wonderful how that is changing. With films about older women in particular. I love that.

[00:05:26] GTS: Social isolation is a problem. Age-ism can lead to social isolation as older adults may be excluded from various activities. Or their contributions undervalued. This can impact physical and mental health adversely. You just, you feel like you're not valued anymore. So, you want to withdraw. And that's in social situations, whether it's your family or friends or in other scenarios.

[00:05:56] GTS: It can be uncomfortable.

[00:05:59] GTS: [00:06:00] Financial security - Age discrimination can affect an older person's financial situation, limiting opportunities for employment. And increasing the likelihood of poverty. Additionally, as we know, from episode four of this podcast, there may also be predatory financial schemes specifically targeting seniors. Self perception.

[00:06:26] GTS: This is a big one. Internalized ageism. Where elders start believing the negative stereotypes about aging. This can lead to a decrease in the willpower to maintain physical health, social relationships. And diminish mental health. Now, I coach myself every single day to keep my perception of myself in reality and not slip under the water of the ageist prejudice that feels [00:07:00] like it's surrounds me. What I haven't been able to understand is why, if our faculties and capabilities are noticeably unchanged--completely adequate-

[00:07:12] GTS: why is this? Many cultures, value youth and associated with qualities like beauty productivity, innovation. But older adults are often unfairly stereotyped as being less capable, resistant to change or less valuable, which can lead to widespread acceptance of those ageist attitudes. Another problem is fear of aging and death. Ageism can also stem from a deep seated fear of aging and death. Younger people may distance themselves from older adults as a way to deny their own aging process, and this fear can [00:08:00] manifest as negative attitudes and behavior toward the elder people. There are economic factors. In the workforce, older employees are sometimes viewed as more expensive due to higher salaries or healthcare costs. This can lead to age discrimination in hiring practices or in the workplace as employers may prefer to hire younger workers who they perceive as costing less and having longer to contribute to

[00:08:30] GTS: a lack of awareness. Many people are not even aware that age-ism is a form of discrimination, comparable to racism or sexism. This lack of awareness can lead to the normalization of ages, jokes, stereotypes, and assumptions that go unchallenged. The media.

[00:08:53] GTS: The media often portrays older people in a way that reinforces stereotypes about [00:09:00] aging. This includes showing them as out of touch dependent in constant need of care. Rather than as diverse individuals with varying capabilities and interests. There is segregation of age groups. Modern societies often segregate individuals by age children in schools, young adults, college, older adults in retirement communities. This separation can prevent natural intergenerational interactions. And understanding and reinforce Misconceptions about each age group.

[00:09:39] GTS: Healthcare bias in healthcare settings.

[00:09:42] GTS: There's sometimes an assumption that ailments are inevitable parts of aging leading to less aggressive treatments or undertreatment for older adults. This bias can stem from training that spends more time focusing on the diseases of [00:10:00] aging. Rather than the wellness and potential interventions.

[00:10:05] GTS: I'm sure you're aware that in many other countries, elders are revered rather than marginalized. And Japan, for example, respect for elders is deeply ingrained in the culture. Reflected in social policies and family dynamics. You know, the country celebrates a national holiday called Respect for the Aged Day where communities honor

[00:10:30] GTS: their elderly citizens. And in China, Confucian teachings, which emphasize the respect and care for one's parents and ancestors are a foundational element of Chinese culture. Elderly family members are often cared for at home rather than in institutions. In India, there are very similar traditional values.

[00:10:56] GTS: That caring for one's parents is a sacred duty. [00:11:00] Elders are often seen as the head of the household. Making the important family decisions and they're looked to for advice and guidance. In Greece, family ties are very strong and caring for the elderly is considered a responsibility of the family. Grandparents play a significant role as well as parents in raising the children. Italy also very strong tradition of familial responsibility and respect for the elderly.

[00:11:30] GTS: South Korea has a strong Confucian influence, which places high value on respect for elders. And native American communities, many native American tribes treat elders with great respect. Valuing them as keepers of tribal history, tradition, and wisdom. Elders are often consulted on a variety of matters, affecting the whole community. Will this ever be the [00:12:00] case in the United States? Well, maybe as the population shifts to almost a quarter of people being 60 plus, and that's going to be a while, but that's projected to be 22% of the population in 2050. That's another 26 years at the time of this podcast.

[00:12:20] GTS: But in the meantime, more education should become widely available about the value and capabilities of our elders. Hopefully. As we face ageism, we can adopt several mindsets, shifts and strategies for ourselves to help cope with and understand these troubling attitudes.

[00:12:45] GTS: First let's look at the roots of ageism. Recognizing that ageist attitudes often stem from societal stereotypes, ignorance or fear can help [00:13:00] seniors respond with empathy rather than resentment. Understanding that people may not even be aware of their biased views can make tolerance easier.

[00:13:12] GTS: Your personal mindset, challenge your own perceptions. And the stereotypes you may hold about aging.

[00:13:20] GTS: Engaging with a diverse range of people across different age groups can broaden your understanding and reduce personal biases. Self-affirmation - cultivating a strong sense of self-worth independent of others’ opinions is crucial. Seniors can affirm their value through their experience, accomplishments and the wisdom they've gained over the years. This self-affirmation can buffer negative feelings arising from ageist treatment. Focus on what can be controlled. [00:14:00] Concentrating on areas of life where we have control such as interests, volunteer work that we do,

[00:14:06] GTS: Spiritual practices, can help us maintain a positive outlook and reduce the impact of age-ism on our wellbeing.

[00:14:15] GTS:

[00:14:16] GTS: Build a supportive community. That's why I'm doing this podcast. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide emotional support and strengthen resilience. This community, this community can be a source of validation and encouragement, helping to mitigate the feelings of isolation that age-ism can create. Advocacy. Getting involved in advocacy for seniors rights can help channel feelings of frustration into positive action. Advocacy can also increase visibility and respect for the aging population. [00:15:00] Helping to challenge and change ageist attitudes. I'm going to put some links to some advocacy groups in the show notes. In our communities,

[00:15:12] GTS: we can increase awareness about ageism through educational campaigns that highlight the value and capability of older adults through workshops, seminars, media campaigns that can help change negative perceptions and stereotypes about aging. So, we want to support those. as well as workplace training for employers and employees to recognize and challenge ageist attitudes within the workplace. This includes training on diversity, equity and inclusion that specifically addresses age-ism. Intergenerational programs are needed to promote inner generational interaction through programs that bring younger and older people together. These can be mentoring programs, community [00:16:00] projects, or recreational activities that encourage mutual respect and understanding.

[00:16:07] GTS: So, look for those opportunities and take part. Supportive technologies develop and utilize technology that assists older adults in maintaining their independence and health. Rather than technology that reinforces dependency or isolation. A good many of these things that I just went over.

[00:16:29] GTS: are initiatives for advocacy groups to implement, but we should support those groups and take part whenever possible. And by taking these actions, we can create a society that values all individuals equally. Regardless of their age. It's important for all of us to contribute as ageism is an issue that will ultimately affect everyone. If you're [00:17:00] encountering age-ism in your family. From your adult children, for example.

[00:17:05] GTS: Okay. I got to stop and drop here. I have some experience with this one. I'm sorry to say I hope you haven’t experienced any of these things, but based on the fact that I saw it happen to my mom. And then years later, to me, I'm guessing most of us get. “The Treatment.” That's what I call it. “The Treatment” is basically, being ignored. Nobody calls.

[00:17:33] GTS: Nobody writes. You're always an afterthought. And now when the family is together, sitting in a room, having a group conversation. Nobody listens to me. This is my tribe. Well, it used to be anyway. But I have become irrelevant. “The Treatment” is also being considered annoying. For [00:18:00] doing and saying the things you've been doing and saying your whole life. They used to be considered insightful or clever. Or maybe even funny. But now you just get the eye roll and the big sigh. “The Treatment” is also too much consideration. “Mom! Look out for that crack in the sidewalk! And that one and oh my God.

[00:18:23] GTS: Watch out for that one. Mom, don't go that way. Don't trip on that. Watch out for that step this way. Not that way.” These are all direct quotes for my daughter when we went out for pie last year. Somehow, I managed to get to and from the pie shop. The year before. “Mom. Are you sure you can take care of my two year old for one hour?” Folks. I've raised five kids, four dogs, and have 12 other grandchildren. “What will you do?

[00:18:56] GTS: If she cries, you might have to get her out of her crib. [00:19:00] She weighs 22 pounds. Can you even lift that?”

[00:19:04] GTS: Somehow I managed. And it's not just her. It goes on and on and on.

[00:19:12] GTS: Dealing with all of this can be a sensitive. And complex issue. Here are some tips. Specific tips that may help mitigate this situation when you encounter it. Have open communication.

[00:19:32] GTS: Don't be afraid to have honest conversations about how

[00:19:38] GTS: their actions or words make you feel in these situations. It's important to express that while their intentions may not be harmful, the impact can be hurtful. Educate them gently. Sometimes age-ism stems from a lack of awareness. Share articles, books or videos about the [00:20:00] myths and realities of aging. These can help them understand the biases against older adults and might make them rethink their views. Sometimes I've personally dropped hints, like, “well, I'm sensitive about ageism and because I get discriminated against so often.” And guess what that worked. A little. Set boundaries clearly defined what is acceptable and what is not in terms of jokes., comments and assumptions about your capabilities. Setting firm boundaries can prevent disrespectful behavior. Encourage inclusion. Invite your children to participate in activities that you enjoy and can do well.

[00:20:45] GTS: This can help change their perception by showing them that age does not define your abilities. And seek support if you need it. Sometimes talking to a third party like a [00:21:00] counselor can help bridge the communication gap, even a mediator might help. Professional guidance can be useful to address deep rooted issues and improve family dynamics. This is a great idea. Be a role model. Demonstrating how to age positively. Taking on new challenges and maintaining an

[00:21:24] GTS: active lifestyle can be powerful ways to counter act ageism stereotypes. Even by producing this podcast, I feel that I've shown my kids and my grandkids that I can try and follow through with new things. Stay informed. Keeping up to date with the latest research on aging and society's views on older adults can empower you with facts and figures to debunk common ages, misconceptions during discussions, I [00:22:00] do this. I'm not sure how much good it does, but at least I know I'm well-informed even if they don't always notice.

[00:22:07] GTS: Please don't misunderstand. I love my kids. My kids are the best. I adore them. But I think there's a tendency for children of 60 somethings and older to condescend and neglect us a bit. I hate, hate to admit it, but. I did that on occasion with my mom. For a brief period.

[00:22:32] GTS: I expect many of us fall victim to that, but it's wrong.

[00:22:35] GTS: It's a mistake. It's unfair. And it's disrespectful. I regret it. And even if it's karma and I deserve it, I hate it when it happens to me. But the only thing I'll say is it keeps me sharp and active. And informed. Because I'll be darned if I'm ever going to prove them right by letting myself slip while I'm [00:23:00] still sharp. As a tack.

[00:23:04] GTS: I urge you to use the following strategies. If the ageism you've encountered has wounded your self-confidence. It certainly has mine.

[00:23:15] GTS: But you can fight it. And here are some steps to help rebuild and restore our positive self-image. I have done almost every one of these things. Self-reflection - take time to reflect on your achievements, your skills and experiences recognize the value you bring to the table regardless of your age. Positive self-talk. Challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. Remind yourself of your strengths and your accomplishments. Remind yourself of who you are. Set realistic goals. Establish achievable goals that [00:24:00] align with your passion and expertise, small successes can help rebuild your confidence gradually. Continuous learning.

[00:24:09] GTS: Engage in lifelong learning. Acquiring new skills and knowledge can boost your self-esteem. And demonstrate your adaptability. Surround yourself with positivity. Spend time with supportive friends, family, and mentors who uplift and encourage you. Focus on your passion. Engage in activities you're passionate about pursuing your interests can reignite your sense of purpose and confidence. Network - connect with people who value your experience and insights building. A supportive network can counteract the effects of age-ism. Also practice self-care. Prioritize your physical and mental wellbeing through exercise, relaxation and [00:25:00] mindfulness techniques. And again, celebrate your achievements acknowledge, even small accomplishments.

[00:25:07] GTS: Each success contributes to rebuilding your confidence and volunteering or mentoring. Sharing your knowledge and skills with others can remind you of your worth and help you feel valued again. Seek professional help of feelings of inadequacy persist. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and strategies and keep challenging.

[00:25:33] GTS: age-ism. Advocate for yourself and others. By addressing ageist attitudes whenever you encountered them. By standing up against discrimination, you can regain your sense of agency. And remember, confidence takes time to rebuild. Be patient with yourself. Just take consistent steps to challenge negative perceptions and build a stronger sense of self-worth. Your [00:26:00] experience and expertise are valuable assets regardless of your age. You know, there are advantages to being 60 plus like on my list.

[00:26:10] GTS: The greatest of which is experience and wisdom. 60 somethings have had many years to accumulate life experiences and knowledge which are valuable in both personal and professional settings. Knowing oneself and the innate confidence that instills.

[00:26:29] GTS: You think you're too old to have breakthroughs and accomplishments? Too old to start over? Too old to start the world on fire? Well, I beg to differ. How about Harlan Sanders? He founded Kentucky Fried Chicken at age 62, turning it into a global fast-food empire. Laura Ingalls Wilder. She published her first book, Little House in the Big Woods at age 65. Launching the beloved [00:27:00] little house on the Prairie series. Gladys Burrell. My God, she completed her first marathon at age 86. And she became known as the “flying squirrel” for her remarkable athleticism in her later years. Stan Lee. He created many of Marvel comics. Iconic superheros, including Spider-Man. Iron man. Xmen . Starting in his forties, he continued into his eighties. Grandma Moses. Her real name, Anna Mary Robertson, Moses.

[00:27:37] GTS: She began her prolific career as a folk artist in her late seventies and gained international acclaim for her paintings. Peter Mark Roget published the first edition of Roget’s Thesaurus at age 73. And we still use it today. Louise Bourgeois. [00:28:00] achieved international acclaim as a sculptor in her seventies, her work displayed in major museums around the world. Frank McCourt. He wrote his Pulitzer-prize winning memoir, “Angeles Ashes” in his sixties, and that launched his career as an author. Paul Cezanne. He gained recognition as a master painter in his late fifties and sixties influencing the development of modern art with his innovative approach to color and form. Or my own personal favorite.

[00:28:37] GTS: I’m a little choked up. Diana Nyad.

[00:28:42] GTS: She achieved international acclaim as a long distance swimmer, completing her historic swim from Cuba to Florida at age 64. She attempted this swim multiple times to before successfully completing it. In [00:29:00] 1978 at age 28. In 2011 at age 61. 2012 at age 60 to 2013 at age 63. And 2013. At age 64.

[00:29:15] GTS: Successful completion.

[00:29:18] GTS: If that doesn't encourage you. I don't know what will. Finally. I'm going to leave you with a wonderful quote about aging. From none other than Sophia Loren, who must know all about aging well.

[00:29:34] GTS: “There is a fountain of youth. It is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap the source, you will truly have defeated age.”

[00:29:54] GTS: Please keep that top of mind. And put Sophia's philosophy into [00:30:00] practice in your life. Today. Your sixties and beyond can be and should be the most meaningful and enjoyable years of your life. It's up to you.

[00:30:13] GTS: Thanks as always for listening. Next time on 60 something. “All About This Podcast” where we'll pop the top open and look under the hood of this baby. Until then…Keep your sunny set up, friends.